Decisions, Decisions...

I have a TON of new pictures to post, but photobucket (my photo hosting site) is being INCREDIBLY slooooooow tonight, so that will have to wait for another day.

I thought I'd post an update on the decision that has plagued me for as long as I can remember and I finally feel I have an answer to. You know the one: Medical School, do or don't.

After MUCH soul searching, prayer, and consideration (and I don't think "much" is a big enough word, I didn't know you could put so much energy and time into one thought as I have this one), I have decided to pursue my dreams. Nursing is just not for me, and to do a bachelor's degree in nursing would be a waste, considering I would need an additional 2 years of classes to apply to medical school. I am so very respectful of our wonderful, patient nurses, and think they play a vital role as a part of the healthcare team, but it's not a role I would be happy in. PA school was my next option, but the truth is, while it's "almost, just as good" as being a physician, and according to many physician's and knowledgable people alike (including Nick), it's just not "enough" for me. The truth is that this MD thing is a dream I cannot give up.

I do think that we're each put here with a specific purpose, something we're born to do, and I feel like I was born to practice medicine. Even with shrinking reimbursement, call time, rectal exams, rising malpractice costs, and all of the other negatives that folks LOVE to point out. I believe that I can be a great mother AND a great physician, and that I can make positive contributions in the lives of my patients. I may not be the mother of 6 children, but I believe that one day (although a long time from now) some other mother of 6 children will be eternally grateful for my choice, when some long hours in the OR (or ER) result in my helping to save a life.

I will be pursuing my dream, but I will be doing so non-traditionally (read: SLOWLY) in order to be a good doctor AND a good mother. Landon is still my number one priority, and I plan on being a GREAT mother throughout my educational journey. I plan on taking a couple of classes each semester until I'm comfortable placing Landon in pre-school (probably next fall), when I will go full time until I finish my bachelor's degree, and subsequently apply to medical school. This fall I'm taking a 9 credit EMT course which will allow me to gain some much needed clinical experience prior to application, and allow me to "get my hands dirty," so-to-speak, as I'm just plain DYING to get in there and DO SOMETHING, besides observing. I will continue to observe cases in the OR with Jon and Nick, and the fantastic Ortho docs as long as I'm able, and will pursue other opportunities to shadow physicians as time progresses. I've signed up to be involved in the Pre-Med club at UVU, and as I progress, I hope to be in a leadership position there.

I am so excited to have finally made a concrete, solid decision on this issue. I feel like I've spent so much time "running from medicine," when in reality, it's all I've ever wanted. I'm aware that it will be a long, hard road (even after school and residency end), but I'm up for the challenge, and excited for the chance. I am so grateful for my supportive husband, who understands my dream, and stands by me in this endeavor, and for all of your support as well, especially Andrea (for watching Landon while I take classes), Nick (for helping me get into the OR, to see the 'cool stuff,' and for all of the free advice), and my Mom (for helping me realize that I don't have to take the same path to realize the same goal).

So, I might be 35 by the time I get out of medical school, but one day, you can all call me Dr. Godbold (okay, I guess YOU GUYS can call me Kelley, but don't forget the M.D.). :P